Thankful for Uncertainty
When I met my husband Konner, I didn't anticipate my life with him to look the way it does today. We met back in August, 2011 at The University of Arizona, and at the time I didn't know anything about how the baseball world worked. I had no idea that being drafted was even a possibility for him.
Konner was drafted in 2013 by the Rockies and we spent five seasons with them. This past November, he was traded to the Baltimore Orioles and we were ecstatic! We felt like things with the Rockies were becoming stagnant and this was exactly what he needed.
We went into spring training optimistic about Konner’s upcoming year. I had prayed relentlessly for my tired heart to be filled with the patience it needed to endure another season. And with that prayer I felt nothing but peace. I felt as though God was telling me, “It’s coming.”
On March 27th, Konner gave me the call baseball WAGs never want to get. I've never seen my husband cry, but that day I heard it as he told me he had been released. We were caught off guard to say the least.
Less than an hour later, he had a call from another team offering him a position in double-A. Later that evening we found out that it had fallen through. So that night, I booked a flight and packed my bags. When I got to Florida my husband picked me up from the airport and we immediately began driving home to Arizona.
That three-day car ride felt like it would never end. Every time his phone rang, my heart would jump in hopes that it was his agent with an offer from a team. Unfortunately, that call didn't happen.
When we made it home to Arizona, we tried to settle in as best we could. Shortly after being home, Konner signed a contract with an Atlantic League independent ball team. He is currently in Sugar Land, TX playing for the Sugar Land Skeeters.
Through all of this, we have felt every emotion. We've had moments of anger, sadness, anxiousness, and even hope. I tell everyone the best way to describe our life right now is the emoji of the girl with both hands on either side of her shoulders like “I don’t know.”
But, isn’t that the truth about life, ESPECIALLY in baseball? We don’t know what tomorrow will hold and truthfully we never have!
As my flight descended into Florida, I was finishing “The Last Arrow” by Erwin Raphael McManus, and he made a statement that struck my heart. In his book he stated, “I want to live the kind of life that cannot be lived without the fullness of Christ in my life.” That is exactly what baseball has done for me.
I had so often looked at the instability of baseball as a nuisance. Now I count it a blessing. In a life of such uncertainty, Christ has been our rock and foundation.
Often we are forced to stop, pray and seek God for peace. This isn't because we're some “great Christians” but because the crazy life of baseball has simply left us with nothing else to cling to.
Although this season hasn't gone the way I had anticipated (you would think I would have learned by now to have no expectations), it has strengthened our faith and marriage. I have no idea what the rest of this season may hold, and I am thankful for that uncertainty. That very uncertainty continually demands me to seek God each day.
“She holds onto hope, for He is forever faithful.”
