It's OK to not be OK

Humans are complex beings. We have so many different emotions that sometimes we can't even name them as we feel them. Sometimes, we even feel different emotions at the same time. What I'm trying to say here is that I can be ecstatic for my fiancé when he gets called up to a new team, and I can also be completely in shambles because our plans were ruined (once again).

The first few times a situation like this happened, I found myself apologizing for being upset or for crying because, ultimately, I knew it was a good thing for my man's career. I would feel this overwhelming need to keep it together and act as supportive as I possibly could while also feeling so freaking bummed. So I would say "I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't be crying". I'm sorry? Sorry for what?! For being a normal human being with normal human-like emotions?

You guys, after driving three long days across the country by myself to be with my fiancé, OF COURSE I am devastated when I find out that I really only get to spend less than 24 hours with him because he is being moved. I'm not afraid to admit it... I held it together the entire time we were packing his bags but after, the floodgates opened. I literally sobbed while sitting in bed and eating chicken nuggets at 1:30 in the morning. And you know what? I cried multiple times the next day too. And there is literally nothing wrong with that! 

Sometimes, as significant others, I think we tend to jump head first into the role as "number 1 fan" and forget that we are also the girlfriend, fiancée or wife first which gives us the right to NOT 👏🏻 BE 👏🏻 OKAY when some major inconvenience happens (as it always does). Sometimes, I think we get right into the "okay, fix it" and "what's next?" mode without stopping to give ourselves a moment of sadness or disappointment or just straight up feeling defeated because life just sucker punched you and your plans in the face. 

So girl, eat those chicken nuggets and have yourself a cry, open that bottle of wine, sleep until noon the next day because this life is physically and emotionally exhausting on not only your partner but you as well. Take care of you; then after  you've done that and had a moment for yourself, put your "number 1 fan" pants back on and figure it out. Because let's be real, we absolutely cannot be our man's biggest supporter if we do not support ourselves first.