October is breast cancer awareness month but to me it is much much more than pink ribbons or wearing pink. 

One year ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 32 when I was five months pregnant with my daughter Lucy.

There was no history of breast cancer in my family. In fact 80% of all breast cancers are not gene related.

Breast cancer doesn't discriminate. It doesn't matter if you're younger than 45 (the average age to get your first mammogram). It doesn't matter if you're pregnant, a (baseball) wife, a daughter, a mother, rich or poor. No matter who you are, it can leave you hopeless, leave scars, shatter dreams, even take lives. This is breast cancer! 

There are moments where my diagnosis feels like it was an eternity ago. Other times it feels like it was just yesterday. But praise God my cancer is gone! 

As I look back on this past year I'm reminded of this quote by Timothy Keller "There is a purpose to suffering and if faced rightly it can drive us like a nail deep into the love of God and into more stability and spiritual power than you can imagine." 

Pain and suffering changes us like nothing else can. It draws us to God. My faith in Him and my family is what has gotten me through this last year. 

My new normal now on this road I'm on is still bumpy and twisty and unknown, still full of doctor visits, blood work, scans, shots and scars. 

But this new road has benefits too, perhaps not in ease but in seeing life differently. This is the path God has chosen for me. It is the best road. 

I don't know what the future holds but I do know Who goes before me. So I don't need to fear because He knows what's up ahead. No matter what, I know He will use this for my good and His glory.