How We Make Long Distance Work
So my girl Ashley & I have decided to collaborate on a blog about ‘Long Distance’ - just a few things we’ve learned, some advice & songs to go along with this crazy life!
So let’s start off with some introductions….
Hi ladies - my name is Nicole Abramczyk & I am so very new to this crazy baseball life. My boyfriend is with the Cardinals Organization (go Cards) & just closed on his very first spring training! Last summer he was with the Johnson City Cardinals & he just got named to the Peoria Chiefs Roster for this season.
Hello!! My name is Ashley VanOchten! I can still close my eyes and picture draft day last June and the day the real long distance started! My boyfriend is with the St. Louis Cardinals Organization as well. So while he is everywhere for baseball, I am also pursuing my baseball dreams, as a reporter in Michigan. So long distance isn't going anywhere, anytime soon for us!
A quick little fun story to start things off - I (Nicole) actually requested to follow Ashley in January 2019, & only gave it about a week or two before I slid into her Instagram Messages saying “Hey girl! I know we don’t know each other, but I believe our boyfriends were on the same team this summer?” & we immediately clicked, started planning our spring training trip together & of course - buying every possible matching shirt we could. & we have talked every single day since - I wanted to share this story because that's all it took - one quick little instagram message & now I have my person in baseball (so don’t be shy ladies).
If you are reading this, we assume you have experienced or are currently experiencing ‘long distance’. Girl - we feel you, you are not alone. Long Distance is HARD - but it is also so rewarding knowing that we are with someone who is worth the distance.
Distance has taught us so much about ourselves & what we need in our relationship. It has made us stronger as couples & as individuals. So here we go...
How to make the best of your situation
Communicate - This is important whether you live together, live in the same state, or even if you live 1,000 miles away from each other. Communication is key so you know what your significant other is thinking & what they need from you. You need to be so transparent & honest with each other. It allows you to feel connected, & up to date with their everyday life, even when you can’t physically be together - & I promise you will both benefit from it.
Make Time - This one should be capitalized & underlined. Working full time, going to school, being a baseball player, being a mom, running a business, whatever your life consists of - we all know life can get super busy & hectic - making time for each other is a task, but also a priority.
Whether it’s a quick phone call before he gets on the bus, a nice text to wake up to or a goodnight facetime call, these may seem like very small factors in a relationship, but when you go weeks or even months on end without getting to physically see your boyfriend/husband, making that extra effort brings comfort, support & reassurance. It's nice to know that even caught up in the craziness of everyday life that you can still take time to let your loved ones know that they are on your mind.
The little things - The little things become the big things when doing distance. The quick texts or phone calls, the facetime dates, a $5 Venmo for your morning coffee, & little surprises in the mail.
Goodbyes - The easier goodbyes are when you already have the next flight planned & booked - the hardest goodbyes are when you don’t know when you get to see each other again (those goodbyes hurt). Whichever goodbye you’re facing - always hug tightly & continue to have faith.
Reach out to other WAGS - This X’s 8364, having someone who knows your situation & understands it is beyond words. Having a fellow WAG with you through the madness should be a #1 - you will have someone to talk to when your guy is at the field, someone to vent to when you’re missing him, someone you can relate to, & someone to bring you all the encouragement in the world - find your baseball person (or people).
Give Grace - (shoutout to @wagsbelike & her ‘WAG Wisdom Wednesday’ for this one) ‘Give Grace’ - these two words absolutely put me (Nicole) in my place. This baseball life is stressful & emotional for both you & your guy - but remember it's hard on him too - I’m not saying you can’t tell him how you feel, but maybe consider venting to a friend or family, because baseball is overwhelming enough for him - give grace.
Don’t forget about yourself - All the emphasis on this one!!!!!! (I fell victim to this one early on - Nicole) Your guy has a ton of big things going on & a lot happening for him - which it’s super easy to get lost in. It is absolutely amazing to be there for him & cheer him on throughout it all & be so very proud - but don’t forget to do things for yourself & the things that keep you happy throughout his success as well. You are just as important & just as amazing.
Make visits to each other - Like we said earlier, saying goodbye sucks. I (Ash) am not a sappy person and now when I leave him, I catch myself crying in the airport. It’s difficult knowing when the next time you will see each other is and you hate to miss the important moments in the baseball world. But and I mean BUT with the strongest emphasis, try to plan your NEXT trip to each other before you go. Getting to look forward to another adventure together is the best way to get through the days apart.
Understand you cannot control the uncontrollable - I (Ash) say this so gosh darn much that anyone that knows me is laughing already. This is huge to me and one of my favorite sayings.
YOU can’t control when the boys get out of practice.
YOU can’t control the final score of the game.
YOU can't control your man's performance and you sure as heck cant control where your guy gets sent or moved during the season. And even past baseball, you can’t control anything in this world. AND THAT IS OKAY. It may not feel okay, but it is because it is beyond your doing.
Close your eyes, pray, take a deep breath and trust. More importantly, focus on something you can control like how much wine can fit in your glass! (are we right?) ;)
Get a gift you can hold onto - This is something very special. Everyday, Nikki wears a necklace customized with Tommy’s autograph & Ashley wears a small and dainty “M” around her neck. These little reminders are a nice smile to put on in the morning and a small way to feel like your guy is with you every day.
STAY POSITIVE - Where are all of my Positive Polly’s at?!? Negative Nancy’s cannot exist in the baseball world. It’s hard, it’s tough and the last thing you need is to be negative. I promise, there is a light at the end of the tunnel so look for it and strive for it!
Chase YOUR dreams baby!! - Working in the baseball world just like my boyfriend has me living a whirlwind. I am chasing my dreams everyday to be the sports face you see on TV and there isn't a day that goes by where Michael would hold me back. We push each other and we both want the other to chase their dreams. That’s what it's all about. Push each other for your dreams, whatever they may be!!
Push the jealousy aside - Sometimes it can get so hard scrolling through social media and seeing everyone else post cute things with their significant other. Every day on Facebook you see someone getting engaged, buying a house or having a baby all while you are living in a different city than your boyfriend or even a different state. But even though the jealousy bug may come creeping by, don't let it bite you. Cheer for those people!! Be happy for them!! You’re just living a different life which is okay, but promise it's okay to clap for them!
Here is a list of songs that help long distance seem a little easier or can give you a good smile/cry session (whichever you’re feeling) -
-Wherever you are by Scotty McCreery
-All to Myself by Dan & Shay
-Always Remember Us This Way by Lady Gaga
-Back To Me by Chris Lane
-Blessed the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts
-Born to Love You by LANCO
-Chapters by Brett Young
-Everytime I Hear Your Name by Keith Anderson
-Eyes on You by Chase Rice
-Gold by Jessie James Decker
-Here Tonight by Brett Young
-Homesick by Kane Brown
-Kisses at Airports by Cassadee Pope
-Little Bitty Dreams by Will Hoge
-Makin Plans by Miranda Lambert
-Phone Call To God by Brett Eldridge
-Run Away With You by Michael Ray
-Say You Won’t Let Go by James Arthur
-When I Pray For You by Dan and Shay
If anyone is ever struggling with a long distance relationship please reach out to the two of us. We may not have it mastered & we probably never will - but we are all ears & always here to talk!